don't overcomplicate and make things so hard on yourself
I went to a jiujitsu seminar in Portland in May of 2022.
There, I met one of the Workshop black belts, Larry Hope. He changed the way I viewed jiujitsu. Here's some of the insights that I received.
When talking about keeping the tempo in a roll, his viewpoint was that "it's not always the act of remaining on top of things, but setting up reactions early, mid, and late in the chain, and knowing exactly when to capitalize on it." Therefore, sometimes you would be "behind" but that's fine - "you don't have to be ostensibly dominant every moment in a roll, there are better, more efficient ways to create attacking opportunities".
Awareness is key, and perhaps the most important trait in all situations. "Usually when I see people getting submitted, it's not some really deep setup, it's just people not paying attention". With these "setups", "it's not about the technique, it's about how you think about them".
Source: Larry Hope, Workshop Honolulu